Sindrom Anak Sulung??!!Apa??Mengapa??!!

Assalamualaikum.

Aku tak tahu la kan. Kalau ada yang mengalami sindrom-sindrom seperti aku ini. Ok. Kepada sesiapa yang mengenali aku. Aku rase semua tahu sebab follower blog nie pon ramai kawan-kawan aku je. lagipun,aku bukan  retisss~~dush~~dush~~*tumbuk muka sendiri*!!Aku dilahirkan sebagai anak sulung yang sepatutnye anak ke-2 tapi, atas aku, ibu aku keguguran. Semua adik-beradik aku adalah perempuan. Semua puteri gitu.

Yeah,I know we should be grateful of what we have. But,I'm a human being have feelings, know how to be sad,touched,angry and etc. Being the eldest, makes me more responsible and considerate of my siblings. Though, sometimes I'm a lil bit harsh with them, that doesn't mean I don't care about them. Only Allah knows how much I love them. But,I'm the kind of people who don't really shows the love he/she has for others.I trained myself to be a cold-heart. So, I can be a person who my family can rely and lean on. Besides, I don't have brothers or even younger brother to protect us all. 

Because of that, my mom always said that I'm the kind of arrogant,self-center and don't care about others.Only me,myself knows how I am. My parents pushed me to be the best in studies and in whatever I do. That's made me who I am now. I'm not regretting that. It just sometimes when I looked how my siblings are with my parents. I feel burdened. As I trying hard to be as what they want me to be. But,my younger sister don't have to be like me. Not being the best is not a problem for them. Don't get the best mark in exam doesn't receive punishment as I do when I get marks which they don't satisfied with.That's during childhood.

Now, we're teenagers. College,university are our target. I know, my parents have sacrificed a lot to send me to Egypt. I appreciated that and grateful. Alhamdulillah. But,when my sibling being selfish and pushed my parents to follow her desires, I'm getting mad. because they don't know how to considerate on others. Damn!!because I trying hard in my studies to get what I want. But,them??just ask. and my parents will certainly fulfilled that. Oh my!!I'm sorry if this entry maybe makes you uncomfortable or angry. But,right now. I'm so stress about this. Deeply apologize.

Waalaikumussalam.